Tuesday, July 7, 2020

Separation Phase

New year resolution haritu is to start fresh living without you in my life. It was sudden decision, but yeah. I did it anyway. Me being me, macam biasa, I'll ask around to my girlfriends for their opinion which they agree on.

I'm keeping this here maybe, just maybe one day you want to look back and laugh or maybe one day you lose your memory, maybe this could help you out. lol.

The separation was real. Really hard for me. I was struggling and I kept it cool for the next 5 months. It was difficult for me because all I did remind me of you. I usually share everything with you. You understand me. You will listen to all my rant and stories and it will go on for hours. I guess we had too much in common. I felt that I understand you. No one around me understands what I really go thru. ( but I don't go thru anything. HAHAA)

3 months on the road I was doing fine. I went to work and do stuff as normal. I felt that I'm doing fine, and girl I was wrong, on the 4th month during quarantine I was doing fine wasting my time all of the sudden you kept appearing in my mind space. I was so confuse and mad at the same time.

On the 5th month you send me something, the moment I hear your name, I broke into tears. I have no idea why and it wasn't sad or wasn't happy either. It was a sudden rush of unexplained tears came rushing thru.

Then I had a conversation with my friend, she mentioned that did I feel good when I made the decision at the early of the year? I said no. I did not feel good doing that but I force myself to feel okay.

I get frustrated as people around me don't really understand the situation and even they say they understand, I don't think they understand.

A friend of mine asked about "rindu", that wasn't it. So I gave up on explaining what ever this is. I know that one guy would understand what I'm saying, but I stopped asking to Him cause I kinda don't want the answer. Mannnn... why I'm so complicated.......????

I put this here because I don't think anyone around really understand the situation.

Friday, May 22, 2020

He must think I'm funny

Bila dah mintak dia petunjuk, dah bagi petunjuk bukan satu tapi banyak. Tapi still tak percaya dan tolak je petunjuk dia. HAHAHAHAHAHA

Kalau aku mesti dah tepuk dahi. dah cakap banyak kali tapi bebal.
tapi in my defense, dia mcm tak confirm. sooooo.. kenot!

Sorry lah.

Thursday, May 14, 2020

My Dear Boy (我的男孩) Episode 11


Script that I like in the film;


新人類的變種的話,我希望最好能取消想念這種功能,對,取消想念,因為我覺得想念這種能力是沒有功能的,譬如你想跟一個東西講話,可是那個東西根本不會回應你啊,而且想念,反而會變成是一種負面能量,讓你很沒有精神,很沒有鬥志,愈想就會愈
覺得自己是個nothing
對啊,因為你是nothing,所以你只要想念別人的義務,沒有被想念的權利。

因為你是nothing啊,被忽略被忘記,那都是理所當然,你把人家當好朋友,那是你自己自以為是,人家只是把你當路過,路過你懂嗎的?這是過了就過了,過了就算了,過了就沒了!
人家已經沒了你懂嗎?誰叫你是nothing,還是好好面對現實,接受承認吧,你就只是一個路過,什麼都不是,什麼都沒的nothing,什麼屁都不是!