Monday, June 15, 2009

Bad Sign

I woke up extra early today~hahaha~ thanks ummul!! I should get up anyway.. hahahaa~ maybe I should start looking for a new alarm clock to wake me up. hahaha~

I have (want to actually) to do the house chores for my comfort and losing weight. hehehe~
only vacuuming today ok! I started to tumble on things. accidently bump my right leg to a (bucu) sofa. ouch! screaming.. coz no one at home, so I can be extra gedik. hahaha~ it wasn't bleeding pon!

I accidently stracth my right arm at the door. then I scream again=.=!! (maaf saya gedik). saje.
mengada. no one at home and no one around to judge me... yea!!! but, the second time stracth.. I have this excitement feeling where that is a very bad sign.(or you want me to bold it instead of colored the word in red?or both?). I've watch stories where they is some people would hurt themselves as pleasure to be specific they have mental problems~ huhu~ so, that makes me....... a retarded? hahaha~

while cleaning, I start to wonder why should i be happy if I hurt myself? I normal, and complete with everything. (except wanting soooo mucchhh a new camera phone! hahaha <-- I can't get onw coz my result is damn bad).. so, the reason is, I'm depressed and I need a Psychiatrist...haha~

I know that I work so hard on studying this time, but I know that is my luck to get that, and there is no fairytale story. hidup seperti roda ada kala anda di atas dan ada kala anda dibawah. so, I can't complain about it!!!! but the words is still lingering in my mind... specifically my dad's words "Syadia lagi pandai dari awak"... I'll get depressed everytime I remember this but I can't get is off my mind. I'm never will be able to compete with my siblings. I'm the black sheep.. *beeekkk* why he have to let those word slip through his mouth? I've tried my best to study that particular semester just you don't know. I write this all down because I want to forget it. I always write things down just to forget it....

ps: malas la nk pegi bersenam kat atas tuh.. malas nk lari selama 20mins. penat pulak... decided nk buat sit up jer.. hahahaha~


Ummul said...

sometimes parents didnt mean it
its like spontanious sentences yg kuar..
jgn amik ati..
n dont bother much

what u need 2 do is,
prove thet u r something not nothing.
maybe its true yg ur sister lg pandai
but it doesnt mean u are not good.

love fiqa!

Fiqa said...

thank you...
but, kat org lain xder pon..

love you too!!

azrina said...

mak kte pon ske banding2 kan kte dgn kte punye sisters..
not just abt academic stuff but my figure too...

what i do is.. i just ignore it n do whatever i want... huhu...

i know what they said does not define me..

Cause im only as tall as my heart will let me be
And im only as small as the world will make me seem
When the going gets rough and i feel like i may fall
I'll look on the brightside its okay after all..


Fiqa said...

serious??!!! figure pun boleh compare? hmm... dia bukan genetically ke?

anyway.. I'm healing right now.
coz of the writing on the blog thing..hehehe~

thank you everyone giving me support!! I'll try hard not to forget~

golden_eyes167 said...

x lame g aku dpt tngk huayu jadi makin slim...msti cun nye..

Fiqa said...

sama jer rupa dia..
xder nmpk pun perbezaan sgt..