Need to!

I need to update. I really do.

I keep look at the past. because I keep thinking that from past actually made future. then? I should look past? right? I keep digging and digging a buried hole and I found a lot of things. I know that I shouldn't but I'm so damn curious!

but in the end the one who is hurt is me. 

and I kept thinking that I should go with my head not my heart. but there's no turning back because I already fell too deep. and in terms of that I am really really full of negativity! 

at times I always keep that this won't work. 

and at times I feel so stupid.

and at times I know that you will get know how I feel.

and it's complicated and a lot of tears had shed. 

I still can't see what I supposed to see.